Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
