don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
