i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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