i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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