Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Welp...herpes.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
