They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dick very happy bro
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
