Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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