why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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