so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
