This girl is more easily done than said...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
