if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
