this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
