I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
