I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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