There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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