He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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