If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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