I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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