I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
