I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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