apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
