I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
