i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
