She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
