So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
