lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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