guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
