He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
