hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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