I want to walk on stilts...naked
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
