Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
