I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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