She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
