Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
