Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
