she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
