No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
