if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
