The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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