She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
