You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
wow bdsm is so cute
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
