while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
