Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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