Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
