I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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