i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
