he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
