Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
