And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
