Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
