To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
