we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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