she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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